I’M REALLY HERE

First presented by the Open Theatre at the Sheridan Square Playhouse, NYC, 1964-65 on successive Monday nights, directed by Sydney Schubert Walter, with Joyce Aaron. One of the pair of "Doris Day" plays.

 

FROM REVIEWS OF ALMOST LIKE BEING

“Artaud would have loved these two plays.” Anais Nin

EXCERPT

ROSSANO: May I say something to you very personal?

DORIS: Not too personal, I hope.

ROSSANO: Something I am feeling.

Doris: Yes?

ROSSANO: Your eyes.

DORIS: My eyes?

 

ROSSANO: You have eyes the same color my mother was.

DORIS: What color was that?

ROSSANO: My mother was blue, blue like you.

DORIS: Oh, I don’t know what to say.

ROSSANO: Say nothing. Say nothing my darling

   (He leans over to kiss her. She allows a small kiss.)

DORIS: Oh, Rossano, there’s something I’d like to show you.

ROSSANO: What is that?

DORIS: Would you walk to the other side of the room?

ROSSANO: The other side of the room? Away from you? But why? Is it an America custom?

DORIS (coyly): You’ll see.

ROSSANO: Well, if you insist. What else should I do? Hold my hands over my head?

DORIS: You may hold your nose if you want. Some people prefer not to.

(He does. She turns her ass to him and to the audience, tilts it coyly, and farts a long thin fart. Then she looks to him to see how he likes it.)

Well, what do you think?

ROSSANO: Very, very nice.

DORIS: I’m glad you liked it.

Published in America Hurrah and Other Plays (Grove Press) and in War and Four Other Plays by Jean-Claude van Itallie, Dramatists Play Service, (acting edition). Anthology: The New Underground Theatre, ed. Robert J. Schroeder, Bantam 1968.

2021©  Jean-Claude van Itallie—All rights reserved