Based on the life of Naropa, the Indian Buddhist teacher and drop-out professor. Produced 1980 in workshop at Yale School of Drama, directed by Lee Breuer.

MONK (chanting in low tones from the musicians platform): Once upon a time in the year 1000 in India it happened that Naropa, the great abbot of Nalanda sat reading the sacred texts. When the cleaning woman of the untouchable caste entered his study, the great Naropa paid her no mind. Her eyes were red, they say, and her hair dishevelled, and her face was shrivelled, and her complexion darkish blue. Her ears were long and lumpy, they say, and her nose inflamed and twisted, and her mouth gaped, and her teeth were rotting and she made sucking noises with her tongue.

(The cleaning woman is played by a puppet manipulated by one or two black-hooded and black-dressed puppeteers. Sucking noises are made for the cleaning woman, and her voice will come from the narrator’s platform.... She is trying to catch Naropa’s attention. She cleans very close to his legs. She actually sweeps his feet. He merely twitches, reacting as to a fly. Nothing else availing, she jumps on to the text on his table.)

CLEANING WOMAN: Hah!

NAROPA (startled at last): What? What is it?

CLEANING WOMAN: What is it with you, Ugly?

NAROPA: What do you want?

CLEANING WOMAN: I’m cleaning. What do you want, Ugly?

NAROPA: I’m reading, if you don’t mind.

CLEANING WOMAN: Reading? And what is it that you’re reading, Sir, if you don’t mind?

NAROPA (speaking as if to an idiot): Words. I’m reading words. They’re written right here on this page.

CLEANING WOMAN (jumping up and down on the texts with glee): That’s wonderful. Just wonderful.

   (She stops jumping.)

What words are these?

   (She points.)

NAROPA (reading...) : "A Critique of the Divine Doctrine of Infinitely Divisible Universes Arbitrarily Partitioned Into Air, Earth, Fire and Water Worlds by the Astrologer Nawa in the Days Before Anything Was As It Is Now, or How the Ancients May or May Not Have Changed Lead into Gold."

CLEANING WOMAN (seeming to be impressed): Oh, I see. You can actually read. Your mother must be very proud of you, Sir. And do you also understand what the words mean?

NAROPA (impatient) Of course.

(The Cleaning Woman jumps up and down and around in a fit.... She shrieks with dismay...)

CLEANING WOMAN (wailing): Ohhhh...now I see you’re just another silly old professor hunched over his words. You’re a hunchback, Naropa, a liar. And you look so old, Naropa. You’re getting fat. Your nose is twisted and inflamed. You digest nothing. You’ll soon explode, Naropa. Your eyes are red. Your teeth are rotting. Your face is blue. Want a mirror? Look at me! You read all those books but don’t understand anything!

Published in Wordplays: An Anthology of New American Drama. (Performing Arts Journal Publications, New York, 1980)

performance inquiries: Gilbert Parker, William Morris Agency, New York, NY (212) 903-1328